“It is out of the overflow of your heart, your mouth speaks.”
This verse is very sobering for me. To think of the things that have come out of my mouth at times, and to have felt the blow of things that have come from the mouths of people close to me, makes this verse extremely personal. Controlling the tongue, overcoming bitterness and handling anger; moreover, dealing with "the flesh" is among the most talked about topics in scripture, with good reason; All of us struggle with it ~AND~ all of us deal with others who are struggling with it in ways that may effect us profoundly.
Over the past few years I have studied this subject and applied what I've learned to my day-to-day, in ways that continue to be life changing. Over and over, one common thread runs through the undesirable ways we behave; wounded-ness.
Here is an excerpt on the topic of emotional wounds, from an expert on bitterness, anger, abuse and the wounds that drive them;
“It is out of the overflow of your heart,
your mouth speaks.”
A wounded heart IS a broken heart. Consider what things might overflow from a broken heart? Anger, accusations, bitterness, defensiveness, deception, despair...the list is endless. Though you might consider a person who is being abusive to you an "enemy" of sorts (and perhaps with good reason), but thinking of them as having a broken heart might alter your perspective enough to allow for compassion.
"All have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God."
~ Romans 3:23
Destructive behavior does not discriminate between gender or station in life. It is not just men who abuse....is it not just women who are bitter. Destructive behavior does not discriminate, because EVERYONE has wounds. Until those wounds are addressed and the healing process begun, the destruction and pain will continue and may even get worse.
No matter which side of the fence you most often find yourself; whether you often hurt others with your words and actions, or often find yourself hurt by the words and actions of others, the remedy is the same;
- Acknowledgement that there is a problem
- A decision to work toward true resolution
- And maintaining continued HOPE for healing.
In the mean time, God speaks to our common condition with instruction for the hurting on either side;
God's ways are always better than our ways when it comes to responding to the hurt and abuse coming our way. The same applies when it comes to our own wounded, broken-hearts.
Our natural instinct is to protect ourselves to avoid vulnerability to more pain. When this condition becomes chronic, our heart overflows with those protective measures we've taken on, in effort to (falsely) "protect" our wounds. True communication becomes impossible when we are in this protective mode, because HONESTY is blocked while we are in this protective mode - particularly from ourselves.
As a result we; react, pretend, deny, accuse, blame... We have tunnel vision, putting the conflict at hand in a strangle hold, meanwhile sacrificing the REAL OPPORTUNITIES for healing that lie beneath every single conflict. As we fall back on our "man-made" defenses, the "wall of protection" becomes taller and thicker.
God offers us ways to protect ourselves, with His Word, His Peace, His Righteousness, His Salvation and most of all His Truth... As always, the world offers many alternatives to Biblical Wisdom, but each of them is a sorry substitute for the real thing.
If you are hurting today, SEEK HELP.
God often places people in out lives who UNDERSTAND.
REACH OUT to a person you trust.
Share with them what is inside your HEART.
Follow the links below to learn more
about these important topics.
Peace & thanks to Torrey for contributing art to the "counterfeit" meme.
Love & gratitude to my husband Keith for perseverance in taking risks toward healing.
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