Changing Colors

Fall scheduling is upon us.  Who doesn't LOVE this time of year! As I mentioned in a recent BLOGPOST, I do LOVE to hammer out schedules, maybe too much.  Infact, it used to be a bit of a problem.  Shall I say it....?  

~An obsession~ 

I would write and revise schedules, lists, calendars, and plans over and over again, and go on to follow none of them because of circumstances that were completely unmanageable and totally beyond my control....but don't try telling ME that, at the time!  When it came to Homeschooling and organizing our homelife, I clung to the BELIEF that if I just found the “right" formula, made the “right" changes, and organized things in just such a way…I could change our circumstances and everything would fall into place, finally!  NOT. SO. 

 

Without meaning to, this faulty “belief system” was taken on by one of our more sensitive children.  This will happen in ANY family but even more so in families who have survived challenging dynamics.  Acknowledging this, accepting it for what it is, and knowing that a change is possible, has been important for us to understand.  Just as our child “sponged” this inferred lesson from ME, the new model of a healthier way also needed to come from me.  Isn't it FUN being the adult!?  Luckily, God equips believers with a desire to do His will, and doesn't abandon us to the task.  With the help of His word and through the power of the Holy Spirit, we do not have to work it out under our own power!  Infact we are instructed not to:  

 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

~ Philippians 4:6

 

It has only been in letting go of my OWN plans, DESPITE any present "circumstances," and allowing God to direct ME toward working on things inside myself that HE thinks need attention, that life has begun to come back into balance.  The very best part is, how we can discern what those "things that need attention" are. How?  By paying attention to the way we react in the face of fear, anxiety, irritation or potential conflict.  Each of these situations (and so many more) have within them a healing possibility that goes right to the heart of the matter and can be worked through in such a way that leads to break-though.  I hope to expand on this topic at length, but not before I get my cites & quotes in order!  Much of my insights on this topic, didn't originate with me!  So for now, let me leave you with something that did...

 

 

In closing, our entire family has put in hard-time over the past year, dividing the fog from the clear, and there have been some beautiful effects so far:

 

Some of us are learning that:

  • Being part of a team means;  giving OF myself, not giving UP myself.  
  • Expressing my needs directly, is being honest.  
  • Dropping hints and working behind the scenes, is not.
  • I don’t have to panic when others get attention, I am valuable too. 
  • I can feel happy when good things happen to someone else.
  • Home is a safe place where people love and accept me because of who I am. 
  • It’s okay to make a plan…and it’s okay to change it.
  • And again; A setback isn't a roadblock, it's a wayside.  We can rest, refuel, check the map, and keep going. 

 

I hope this is only the beginning.  Happy Fall to us all!  

Many Blessings of Grace,

Moongarden Mama